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When you visit a website, what do you want to see? Would you rather read long pages about how great someone’s products or services are – or whether they have the answer to your situation?
I’m sure that if you can’t quickly and easily find out – you’ll be off, clicking away and leaving that site.
So, when people visit your website, can they quickly and easily find out if you have the answer they’re looking for? One way to check this is to ask a couple of friends to take a look and then give you some feedback.
Because you are very close to your business, the natural tendency is to write about what you do. Unfortunately, this can be a bit boring to everyone except you (and perhaps your nearest & dearest). Connect with visitors to your website by writing to them. So, for example:
“Our services are designed to provide a permanent xxxx solution for all our customers”
becomes
“Your xxxx problem will be solved – for ever.”
Or words to that effect.
Unless your prospective customers are large corporations or government bodies, replace old style ‘corporate speak’ with a more conversational style of writing so the reader feels they’re dealing with a real person and not some faceless organisation. Let them know you understand the problems they have and that you can provide a solution – in the same words you’d use if you were speaking with them in person.
Another way to check if you’ve got the words right is to read them through out loud. You’ll soon find out if the message sounds stilted or natural. I like to do this with every blog post and article as it helps me spot typos too!
We’d love to know how you connect with your website visitors! And if you found this post helpful, please retweet and continue the conversation 
Hi Louise – love the advice to ditch the corporate speak, absolutely. And I agree that the statements about ‘what we do’ can be a terrible turn off and far better to talk about benefits. However, I confess your headline threw me – ‘People don’t want to read about you!’ – actually I’m not sure that’s true! Looking at the stats, I’ve often found that the ‘about us’ pages are the most popular after the homepage. As you say, people want to know who the people are behind the business. So I think people do want to read about you, but not necessarily about what you do (except in terms of ‘what’s in it for me’).
Thanks for this Louise – I write the wording for websites for other businesses and this is exactly what I try and achieve.
We also find that a website written this way also stands our sites out from the crowd!
Hi Louise,
Your comments are so right about websites.
A phrase, which came from a fellow networker, which I think precisely describes your topic (and excuse the phrase) ‘There is too much we’ing on websites’
I work with clients to develop their sales and one of the points I always stress:
It is not what you sell but what it does for them.
Hi Robin – thanks for commenting. I have to admit the headline was intended to provoke attention, which it did! Thanks for clarifying that ‘people do want to know who the people are behind the business’ – and I absolutely agree. My thinking is that the About page is the right place to do that (and people often don’t!), but the Home Page and other services/products pages need to focus on solutions to visitors’ needs.
Hi Alexis, glad you found the post useful – and thanks very much for commenting here.
Hi Mike, good to hear from you! I’ve heard that phrase before – and it certainly does describe how websites are often written very well
Hi Louise,
What a really good post.
You are all aware of the expression “talking a good game” – loads of websites are the text version of that saying, I reckon.
We do this, blah,blah, we do that, blah, blah, spout the sites and for visitors clicking on, not much communication is going on.
And, I put my hands up, my own website needs bashed about a bit – a task soon to be undertaken.
The comments here are all interesting and considered. If you would indulge me, I’ve included a link to my latest blog rant about language.
If you have a minute, I’d be pleased if you would read it and delighted if you offered feedback.
http://mikeritchiemedia-comesatime.blogspot.com/
Hi Mike,
Thank you and welcome to our blog! I think one of the problems is that we fall in love with our own products & services – to the point where we can’t stop talking about them …. forgetting who’s going to read the results of those outpourings!
Love your rant – some great examples of corporate speak – on my way to leave a comment. Not a big ask at all